Holiday Overwhelm? How to Set Boundaries and Find Peace
The holidays can feel like a lot. Between family obligations, financial pressures, and the quest to create a magical holiday experience for loved ones, it’s no wonder you’re feeling stretched thin. Add in the regular chaos of daily life, and it’s easy to feel like everyone wants a piece of you. If life already feels packed or overwhelming, the holidays can push you right over the edge.
But it doesn’t have to be that way. With a little planning and some well-placed boundaries, you can find more calm this season - yes, even during the holidays.
Why Boundaries Matter
Boundaries are like guardrails for your time and energy. They keep you from veering off into overwhelm.
That said, setting limits can feel awkward, especially if you’re used to saying yes to everything. Maybe you worry about upsetting people or feel like it’s your job to make the holidays magical for everyone. But here’s the thing: if you don’t set boundaries, you’re the one who ends up running on fumes. Nobody wants that - not even the people you’re trying to please.
Are you doing too much?
Let’s do a quick check-in. Do any of these sound familiar?
You’re snapping at little things that wouldn’t normally bother you.
You feel like you’re always running on empty.
Guilt or resentment is creeping in more often than you’d like.
You’re so busy you can’t even enjoy the moments that are supposed to be fun.
If you’re nodding along, it’s a sign to step back and rethink how you’re approaching this season.
Setting Boundaries that Work
Figure Out What Really Matters
Take a second to think about what you actually enjoy about the holidays. Is it baking cookies with your kids? Watching cheesy holiday movies? Quiet mornings with a cup of coffee before everyone else wakes up?
Whatever it is, make those things your focus. Write down two or three priorities, and let the rest take a back seat. Not everything has to make the cut.
Be Honest About What You Can Do
You can’t do everything - and you don’t need to. It’s okay to let people know where your limits are.
For example:
- “I’d love to come, but I can only stay for an hour.”
- “I’m keeping things simple this year, so I’m not hosting, but let’s catch up another time!”Will some people be a little disappointed? Maybe. But most will get it. And the ones who don’t? That’s on them, not you.
Let Go of Perfection
Here’s a secret: nobody remembers whether the tree had matching ornaments or the food was Instagram-worthy. They remember how they felt.
If you’re trying to make everything perfect, ask yourself, “Will this matter in a month? In a year?” If the answer’s no, let it go.
Make Time for Yourself
When you’re busy, it’s easy to push your own needs to the bottom of the list. Don’t. Even ten minutes can do wonders.
Go for a walk. Read something you enjoy. Stare out the window with your coffee - whatever helps you recharge. Put it on your calendar if you need to. Treat it like the non-negotiable appointment it is.
Learn to Say No
“No” is a complete sentence. It doesn’t need an essay to back it up.
If something feels like too much, it’s okay to say no. Remember, every time you say no to one thing, you’re making space to say yes to something that matters more - like time with your family, or even just catching your breath.
Remember This
The holidays stir up all kinds of feelings - nostalgia, sadness, excitement, stress. Sometimes all of them at once. That’s normal. Let yourself feel it without judgment.
And remember: you don’t need to do everything. You don’t need to keep everyone happy. And it’s okay if things aren’t perfect.
The holidays are yours to shape. Focus on what feels good and meaningful to you. That’s what makes this time of year special - not how many things you check off your to-do list.
Feeling stuck? Let’s talk. Together, we can find ways to make the holidays - and your life - more manageable.
Meet Lucia | Book a Free Consultation
Lucia Arreaga is a Registered Clinical Counsellor based in North Vancouver, British Columbia. She helps people overwhelmed by life’s demands feel lighter, more grounded, and build on their existing strengths to move forward with purpose and clarity.
In her spare time, she can be found adventuring among trees and trails or sand and sea with her partner and children, her friends or her fluffy four-legged trouble-maker Harvey.
